So, yesterday morning, I was in one of the chatroom I RP in. One of the chatters, Robin, was checking her FB stuff and noticed something about another chatter, Scher.
Now, I only knew Scher/ Scheri in passing on the chatrooms. I don't think I ever had the pleasure of RPing with her directly, but I know I'd seen her posts. I know enough to know that she was a good person and a great RPer and she will be missed. And I'm sad that I won't get the chance to know her better or RP with her.
Apparently, yesterday morning, she passed away from a clot that was in her lungs. This I found out from both Tig and Gray. There's alot of sad people right now. And even if I didn't know her that well, I'm still saddened by her loss. I'm never sure what to say at these times, and even here, where it's mostly to myself, I have no idea what to say. I mean, nothing I say is going to change things. I can't say anything to the people who are hurting, and missing her right now, because my words aren't going to make that go away. Nor should they.
To her family and friends all I can say is, my heart goes out to you. I know this is a sad time, and I share in your sadness.
To Scheri, you will be missed darling. May you be at peace.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Dreams
I don't normally write my dreams down anymore. Not because I don't think they mean anything, but because I can usually work out what they are telling me before they fade from my mind.
This one... not so much.
I remember walking into a house, a house I've seen in my dreams about a dozen times, in various parts. Meaning, today we were in the living room. Before, I've seen the back hall, or a staircase, or the kitchen. I always know it's the same house. This was no different. We were in the living room, and my mother was there, moving around. My Aunt JoAnn was there, sitting. Mom kept pointing to things, like pictures and vases and things. I'd never seen any of them before, in dreams or real life. She pointed up at this glass filled to the brim with red liquid and said something about it being left there, and asked me (the tallest one there) to get it down. It was a stretch, and the glass tipped to one side, and my Aunt gasped, but nothing came out. When I held it lower before us, you could see it was one of those gel candles. But I was looking at it, and the container it was in was a large glass goblet, and the rim around the top was chipped and broken, and the sides had long cracks running in it. I set it down, telling this to my mother, who shrugged it off. She was filling though large paintings, in heavy frames, talking to my aunt.
I turned, looking at the mirror on the wall. If you stood at just the right angel in the light, you could see a crack running down it from top to bottom. And I could tell it was top to bottom because at the top there was a discoloration where the crack had started. It was kind of like the mirror had burned slighting, from a candle flame. I told my mother, and she got all sad and started going on about how it couldn't be cracked, and that was just terrible. I remember the words "The mirror cracked from side to side" ran through my head in the dream. I also remember thinking it looked a little like the mirror my mother has in her entryway, only bigger and with something decorative around the outside of the glass, before the plane green wood frame. So it was the only thing I recognized, somewhat.
Then my mother pulled me over to this really large painting. It had to have been about 6 feet by 6 feet plus a frame. It was blue and white, a winter scene I think. Then it changed. It was still in blues and whites, but with more gray, and it was a painting of the inside of a room, with a large fireplace, and there was an old man sitting with a few kids around him. I said "That looks a little like this room". She shushed me and looked at my Aunt, who was sitting nearby. She said "Yes, I suppose it does, but it's Aunt JoAnn's childhood forgotten teacup house." I had no idea what that meant. When I looked back at the picture, it had changed again to a cemetery scene, with the large Angel sculpture, or a large Mary (couldn't tell) and a few statue children gathered around. And then Mom handed me this strange wooded object. It looked like an old wooden nut cracker she had when I was little, which looks a little like the wooden 'bucket' for a ball and bucket toy. Only the one in my dream was an open eight. Two circles pressed together where they both had some missing, if that makes sense. And when you turned the handle, the top turned the other way.
I remember she told me something (which I heard clearly in the dream and it's fading now) about following it to the answers. She followed me outside and said something about my dad waiting on the other end with the answers.
I also remember that the mood turned very ominous at that point. Mom was frowning, and Aunt JoAnn was sitting with her head down, rubbing her fingers, like my grandmother used to do. I nodded and started up the stone covered street toward a hill.
That was the dream, strange as it is. I have no idea what it means.
This one... not so much.
I remember walking into a house, a house I've seen in my dreams about a dozen times, in various parts. Meaning, today we were in the living room. Before, I've seen the back hall, or a staircase, or the kitchen. I always know it's the same house. This was no different. We were in the living room, and my mother was there, moving around. My Aunt JoAnn was there, sitting. Mom kept pointing to things, like pictures and vases and things. I'd never seen any of them before, in dreams or real life. She pointed up at this glass filled to the brim with red liquid and said something about it being left there, and asked me (the tallest one there) to get it down. It was a stretch, and the glass tipped to one side, and my Aunt gasped, but nothing came out. When I held it lower before us, you could see it was one of those gel candles. But I was looking at it, and the container it was in was a large glass goblet, and the rim around the top was chipped and broken, and the sides had long cracks running in it. I set it down, telling this to my mother, who shrugged it off. She was filling though large paintings, in heavy frames, talking to my aunt.
I turned, looking at the mirror on the wall. If you stood at just the right angel in the light, you could see a crack running down it from top to bottom. And I could tell it was top to bottom because at the top there was a discoloration where the crack had started. It was kind of like the mirror had burned slighting, from a candle flame. I told my mother, and she got all sad and started going on about how it couldn't be cracked, and that was just terrible. I remember the words "The mirror cracked from side to side" ran through my head in the dream. I also remember thinking it looked a little like the mirror my mother has in her entryway, only bigger and with something decorative around the outside of the glass, before the plane green wood frame. So it was the only thing I recognized, somewhat.
Then my mother pulled me over to this really large painting. It had to have been about 6 feet by 6 feet plus a frame. It was blue and white, a winter scene I think. Then it changed. It was still in blues and whites, but with more gray, and it was a painting of the inside of a room, with a large fireplace, and there was an old man sitting with a few kids around him. I said "That looks a little like this room". She shushed me and looked at my Aunt, who was sitting nearby. She said "Yes, I suppose it does, but it's Aunt JoAnn's childhood forgotten teacup house." I had no idea what that meant. When I looked back at the picture, it had changed again to a cemetery scene, with the large Angel sculpture, or a large Mary (couldn't tell) and a few statue children gathered around. And then Mom handed me this strange wooded object. It looked like an old wooden nut cracker she had when I was little, which looks a little like the wooden 'bucket' for a ball and bucket toy. Only the one in my dream was an open eight. Two circles pressed together where they both had some missing, if that makes sense. And when you turned the handle, the top turned the other way.
I remember she told me something (which I heard clearly in the dream and it's fading now) about following it to the answers. She followed me outside and said something about my dad waiting on the other end with the answers.
I also remember that the mood turned very ominous at that point. Mom was frowning, and Aunt JoAnn was sitting with her head down, rubbing her fingers, like my grandmother used to do. I nodded and started up the stone covered street toward a hill.
That was the dream, strange as it is. I have no idea what it means.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Sugar mice and Catnip Dreams
So I've been off Facebook for a decent part of the day. And I log in to see an update from Aspen's mom, about "I will Miss 2 ton (Oasis)"... Now, Oasis is the name of one of Aspen's cats. And so I click over to Aspen's page.
"Oasis passed in his sleep last night. He was 11 years old. He was buried this morning."- Aspen.
I remember when Aspen and I went to pick up the kittens, Oasis and Taz. I was going to take Taz and he was going to take Oasis.. and well, they loved each other so much we couldn't seperate them. So they stayed with him, and I was going to help out and.. eventually Aspen took them both. Which was probably for the best.
11 years... I can't believe it. That means it was 11 years ago I was living in that dinky apartment in Rye. So many memories of sleeping on Aspen's couch with the cats curled on me. (Because that dinky apartment didn't allow me to have cats, and I needed to get my kitty fix somewhere and going to my folks at 10pm wasn't an option).
I will miss Oasis. I might not have seen him in a while, but I have memories of him and he was a sweet cat.
As close as he and his brother were, I hope Taz does okay.
And I hope Aspen is okay. I know he loves his kitties.
I think I have some pictures of Oasis somewhere. I will have to look them up and see.
"Oasis passed in his sleep last night. He was 11 years old. He was buried this morning."- Aspen.
I remember when Aspen and I went to pick up the kittens, Oasis and Taz. I was going to take Taz and he was going to take Oasis.. and well, they loved each other so much we couldn't seperate them. So they stayed with him, and I was going to help out and.. eventually Aspen took them both. Which was probably for the best.
11 years... I can't believe it. That means it was 11 years ago I was living in that dinky apartment in Rye. So many memories of sleeping on Aspen's couch with the cats curled on me. (Because that dinky apartment didn't allow me to have cats, and I needed to get my kitty fix somewhere and going to my folks at 10pm wasn't an option).
I will miss Oasis. I might not have seen him in a while, but I have memories of him and he was a sweet cat.
As close as he and his brother were, I hope Taz does okay.
And I hope Aspen is okay. I know he loves his kitties.
I think I have some pictures of Oasis somewhere. I will have to look them up and see.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Nano's over
So as I write this, it's not exactly over. But I'm anticipating it being over soon. Dec. 1st isnt't hat far away. I'm not even done with the novel for this year. I'm not even halfway done. But I'm not going to finish it. I realize this. It's kind of depressing because it means I wrote for all of November for nothing. I have 186k in words that go nowhere. And even if I write all of December, it's probably not going to do any good. I don't have something I and entery my counts into, something I can chart my progress on. I'm not going to be able to see how i'm doing or how I've done. That part is what keeps me excited. I can see I've done 7k words today or only 3k words today. The days I've gotten 10k are awesome.
I'm already looking forward to next year. I know some people are all anti-Nano. That's fine. I do it for different reason than other people anyway. I do it for me. I do it to challenge myself. I'm not looking to publish, and I'm not looking to write something wonderful. I'm looking to see how much I can and do write every day.
But next year I want to do a different story. I don't want to continue this one. For one, I hope this one will be finsihed by next nano. For two, I think if I tried to continue it I'd have a hard time not going back and counting this word count. And then what happens if 12k in, it's over? Seriously.
So I want a different story for next year. Something I can write starting at the beginning again.
I have a few ideas.
I could do Alyn and Kiara.
I could do Nonna
I could do Wren and Nathan
I could do Babette again, seeing as I lost all of her stuff.
I could do Nicolette.
I could do Claire but I don't know if I'd get 50k out of her.
I could do something new. I just don't know what right now.
Oh well, I'll figure it our next year.
I'm already looking forward to next year. I know some people are all anti-Nano. That's fine. I do it for different reason than other people anyway. I do it for me. I do it to challenge myself. I'm not looking to publish, and I'm not looking to write something wonderful. I'm looking to see how much I can and do write every day.
But next year I want to do a different story. I don't want to continue this one. For one, I hope this one will be finsihed by next nano. For two, I think if I tried to continue it I'd have a hard time not going back and counting this word count. And then what happens if 12k in, it's over? Seriously.
So I want a different story for next year. Something I can write starting at the beginning again.
I have a few ideas.
I could do Alyn and Kiara.
I could do Nonna
I could do Wren and Nathan
I could do Babette again, seeing as I lost all of her stuff.
I could do Nicolette.
I could do Claire but I don't know if I'd get 50k out of her.
I could do something new. I just don't know what right now.
Oh well, I'll figure it our next year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)