We now return you to...

This isn't so much a real post. Well, I mean, I'm posting it. But the topic is just a filler. I mean, most of you probably know that Blogger has a post scheduler. So you can type a post and set it to post two days from now. Or two days ago. Which is actually kind of cool for someone like me. I work in spurts. So I can type up five or six posts at a time and just set them to post over the next few days. And if I get distracted, I can set them to post over the days I forgot. It's really kind of cool.

It isn't exactly honest. I mean, it is a bit like cheating. I figured I'd mention it now, when there's likely no one reading this. That way I don't look like an idiot for telling people something 99% of the blog-savvy world already knows. But since I'm part of the 1% who didn't, I still find it cool.

Kind of wish school worked this way. I mean, yes, that would be ungodly hard on the teachers. However, I would have adored the ability to grab all my classwork and homework for the month at once, and sat down over the weekends and pounded it out. Then, each assignment could have posted the day it was due. And I would have had more time free during the week. And probably would have forgotten fewer assignments.

Then again, I do get distracted. And I forget. I probably would have had other issues too. Still, it's a neat feature and I'm glad they have it. It does allow me to type up several unrelated topics all at once. Because my brain is scattered and tends to go off in ten different directions at a time. At least this way, you get ten posts over several days instead of ten all on the same day, and then nothing for five days or so.

But yes, I now return you to the regularly scheduled madness.

A Composting We Will Go...

I've always wanted to start a compost pile. I know, weird thing to want to start, right? But the whole idea just seemed so cool to me. Recycle the stuff you don't eat, or that you'd normally toss, into soil, and then grow veggies or something with that soil. When the roommates moved in, Dig wanted to help with the backyard garden. Which was, at the time... dead.

So he dug out the garden, down to the sand about two feet down, and now we just have to fill it with good soil. So of course, somehow the idea of a composter came up. Now, I wanted one for a while. I mentioned one to the hubby when we bought the house. The idea got blown off and shoved aside. So when Dig mentioned it to me, I got all excited, then remembered how it went over before, and kind of clammed up. But, men seem to work in packs, because now that Dig was mentioning it, apparently it was a good idea.

Long story short, I got my composter. It's in the back yard, and has already got things in it. We have a small trash can I got at King Soopers for under $2 and we dump the stuff for the compost pile into that, and then when it's about half full, out if goes to the pile. Tea bags and veggie scraps are the current big thing on the pile, but as the weather starts to get colder I imagine tea bags will be replaced by coffee grounds.

Apparently there's this brown to green ratio that has to deal with nitrogen and carbon. We're still trying to get the right balance, but it seems the house produces more green waste than the yard produces brown waste. In any case, we're experimenting with the composter. It's a new toy, and it's one I wanted since I got into the whole pagan-hippie-tree-hugger kind of vibe. You know, that whole love mother earth and start doing things to help her. I really am excited that we have one. I just have to do research on what we can put into it that will help make better compost. Because eventually, that compost is going into that large hole in the garden to provide cool soil for home grown veggies. My tomato plants will be so happy. Which will make me happy.

A writer I am not

Well, technically I suppose I am. I write, therefore I could be considered a writer. However, I'm not professional in the slightest. Looking back over the few posts I have already made, I can see that there are some errors, some issues, and some problems. One of which is length. I suppose I'm just expecting more from myself than I should. Then again, I've never really read a lot of blogs, so I don't know how long the entries are supposed to be.

I supposed to some that last statement is kind of sucktacular. Here I am writing a blog, and I don't read blogs. Kind of like a chef saying they never try anyone else's food. But remember, when I started this, I said it was more like a diary, and less like an instruction manual. I'm not blogging things like recipes, or how-tos here. I'm just talking. Which I suppose is one reason I doubt anyone will read this. Sure, someone may stumble across it somehow. I highly doubt they will make a point to read very far, or even come back.

So in short, I'm not really writing for anyone other than myself. And when you only write for yourself, you don't really have to follow strict writer guidelines. Length becomes less important. Quality over quantity, or something of that sort. But when you're your own worst critic, Then you have to kind of set your own standards. Because no one else will. And on that, I suppose my standards haven't been met. I expected more, I suppose. Not entirely sure why. Maybe I expected to have more to say. I mean, if I can't get out a decent length post on whatever pops into my head, was it really worth writing about? Or should I not write about everything that pops into my head? Maybe just the really long winded topics? But then, aren't I going for quantity, not quality if I do that?

I don't know. I suppose I'm just looking for something to complain about. After all, this is just like a diary. A running log of thoughts and ideas, questions, and what-have-yous. Why should it matter if the posts are short? Or if there's two or more posts on the same day? Or a few days missing? I suppose that's what makes it more realistic.

Best Intentions of Mice and Cats

I've started a 101 in 1001 list.
The idea is like a New Year's resolution list, only you pick 101 things to finish in 1001 days.
I've tried this before with moderate success. This list is hard to do because I usually end up putting in things which later I look at and go "why?". Or things change and they no longer seem to fit. So far, I've only finished a few items, and I have 775 days left.

The best intentions, and whatnot.
But I really do hope to finish some of these.The list is below. I'm going to strike the ones that I have to redo, because they no longer work. I will try to highlight the ones I've done.



1.Make a custom recipe book
2.Go vegetarian for a month
3.Spend a rainy day watching films in my PJ's
4.Try two new cookie recipes this Christmas
5.Have a garage sale
6.Send Christmas cards
7.Influence a person to make a day zero list
8.Take multi-vitamins everyday for a month
9.Complete the 100 Snapshots Challenge
10.Get a library card
11.make a new list when this one is finished
12.Put together an emergency food kit
13.Take at least 5 photos a day for a month
14.organize garage
15.Paint living room
16.Find a part-time job
17.try Thai food
18.lose ten pounds
19.Start a compost pile
20.Organize Kitchen
21.Submit something for publication
22.finish my quilty pillow
23.make my own laundry detergent
24.make my own dishwashing detergent
25.finish my lap blanket
26.organize the books in the house
27.get rid of unneeded items
28.Paint sewing room
29.Visit Byers-Evans Historical House
30.Visit the Colorado Historical Museum
31.Visit Denver City Park
32.Do a Haunted Denver tour
33.Use my dehydrated veggies in a stew
34.Stop drinking Soda for 90 consecutive days or more
35.drink 2 slimfast a day for a month
36.finish my crocheted comforter
37.Eat two servings of fruit for 60 consecutive days
38.Visit Lincoln, Nebraska
39.Learn to cook some of my mom's old recipes
40.Make a tie-dye quilt pillow
41.Make a home inventory with pictures
42.Make the cosplay costume for Millie
43.Get storage boxes down to only what fits under the stairs
44.Learn 20 words in Japanese/Italian/French/German
45.Have a "Gothic Christmas"
46.Spend 30 mins outdoors twice a week for 3 months (summer)
47.Find 2 DIY network ideas and complete them
48.crochet some fingerless gloves
49.Watch 1 movie I've never seen, once a week, for six months
50.Watch 1 new anime something (episode, movie, etc) a week for six months
51.Make Ornaments for the Goth Tree
52.Cook something new (10 times)
53.Put away $5 for each completed task - the total to be added to the mortgage at the end
54.get first aid and CPR certified
55.read 20 of the White Wolf books
56.play EQ2 again
57.decorate for Halloween
58.meditate once a week for 10 weeks
59.grocery shop for $25 or less a week, for four weeks
60.Play Atlantica again
61.Play Flyff again
62.Play Rappelz again
63.Play Fiesta again
64.remove boring facebook games
65.Recover a book
66.Make something from the Propnomicon
67.Make dice bags for friends
68.Go to the movies with friends 6 times
69.Make my own paper
70.Create a workout routine to follow for 30 mins, 3 times a week, for two months
71.Drink one cup of tea a day for one month
72.Drink one glass of water every day for one month
73.make one new friend (not online)
74.Do NaNoWrMo (?) once
75.Buy a calendar and put all friends and family birthday and special occasion on it
76.Make the pledge and become a lacto-ovum vegetarian for thirty days.
77.join SHARE
78.make use of canvas shopping bags rather than plastic
79.Get an indoor plant and keep it alive for one year.
80.Crochet for at least 15 minutes a day, 3 days a week for a month
81.hang pictures finally
82.organize all the closets
83.fix up the laundry area
84.dry rose petals
85.fix up the front yard
86.fix up the guest room
87.go to dinner and a movie with the hubby 4 times a year
88.Finish my hippie jeans
89.Grow hair long again
90.Once hair is grown long- Do Locks for Love again
91.Create a monthly menu plan
92.Make some kind of crafty item each month for 12 months
93.Try painting anime characters
94.Succeed in one Random, anonymous act of kindness
95.Obtain a more normal sleep schedule
96.get out of the house for 30 mins or more once a week for 5 months
97.learn to make soap bars
98.get a chaise lounge
99.Declutter. Declutter. Declutter.
100.write a children's story
101.Find something to laugh about each day. Share it either in post or picture


So, why did I remove the ones I did? Simple, they no longer apply. With new roommates in the house, going veggie for two different months at a time isn't really an option. We already have enough issues getting all four of us to eat, I don't have to add to it. I can always hold off on them and do it later. Same with fixing up the guest room. It's now a room for the Bug, so it's not like I can make it into a victorian haven anymore. And part time job is out, since my new 'part time job' is watching the kiddo. Some things, like SHARE are no longer worth it, and the Denver Haunted Tours I found out from people who took them kind of not worth the fee. So, long story short, whatever got crossed out is just because it's not doable anymore.

So, now I have to add new ones to replace the ones I removed.
There's a few I have, but I'm having a hard time getting back up to 101.

New ones:
Get Fence in Backyard Fixed
Get a laptop
Start a blog.


Okay, so the blog one was kind of a freebie since I'd already done it. But I'm still 8 short, so it's staying.

I'll have to think about this somemore.

Chore Lists

With four adults, one toddler and a cat living in the house now, there's a lot of things that are different. We go through dishes like crazy. And laundry. And it seems that Muriel and I are always the ones doing things, and if I tell the boys, half the time they space it. So I figured I'd try what worked back in college when I lived in the quad. A chore list.

Now, mind you, back then I made my own, simply by listing things that needed to be done, and then assigning them to everyone on the list. It's not unlike that today, except I can Google lists and get ideas for things I would forget. Like cleaning gutters. I should probably find out if we have gutters before I send one of the boys out to clean them. Probably would be wise. But I spent a good deal of time online with some chore lists, and then I even found a site that lets you add chores and people, and it assigns them for you. Which would be fantastic, if I wasn't such a control freak about it.

However, I figure a chore list is a good start, but things will need to be fluid, since as Dig and Muriel start working, I'll have to adjust things down for them, and sadly up for me. But, that site that assigns chores did give me a good look at the lists, and it seems to be like four or five small things a day for the most part. A few things are heavy, like taking down all the curtains and washing them, or moving the furniture and vacuuming. Those will need to be rotated to people's days off so we have help, because I'm so not doing that on a day when I'm alone with the Bug. It just doesn't seem toddler friendly.

I do, however, like the idea of getting everyone in the habit of doing chores everyday, and for most of them to be rotated. It isn't fair to Muriel to have her doing all the dishes, or to Dig having him always mow the lawns. At the same time, there's things I wouldn't ask them to do, like clean the cat's litter box. That's my baby, my responsibility.

I like the sites, because one of them gives ideas for daily, weekly and monthly chores. There's things that only need to be done once a month, like washing curtains. Something I would probably forget to do, because I haven't washed a curtain in the 3 years we've been here. I'm not even sure the living room curtains are washable. They look like they were new in the 70s. Were curtains washable in the 70s? I guess we will find out.

Who am I? Really?

As I have said, lately I am reminded of things from my past. Recently, one of those things was my choice of clothing in high school.

There was a period of time, when all I wore, was Black. Now, before you get ahead of me, no, I wasn't going for the 'goth look' and I wasn't 'emo'. Believe it or not, I think I predated 'emo'. That makes me feel so damn old. Anyway, I wore black. Generally it was a black t-shirt, black jeans, black underwear, black socks, and black sneakers. Solid, unwavering black.

Now, this drove my mother insane. She hates black. Never mind at the time I was also studying witchcraft and pagan religions, which drove my very, very Catholic mother crazy, but I'm also wearing Black. She hated it. HATED. But I had my reasons. Even if I didn't fully understand them until years later.

My mother would ask me, 'Why won't you wear something else? Why does everything have to be black?'
I couldn't answer her. It was just the only color I felt comfortable in. Eventually I started shifting to Purple, and then her question was 'Why does everything have to be Purple?' at which point my answer was 'I can go back to Black if you like.'
Yes, I had a mouth on me. But it made the point.

Now, years later, I picked up a book on Color and Psychology. I vaguely remember the context was something like this... Color is expressive. People pick certain colors to either express who they are, or who they want to appear to be.

Women do this, and women will understand this perhaps more than men. If you want to feel sexy, passionate, and fiery on a date, you don't wear a sky blue dress. You wear Red. Red is the color of Passion and Fire. If you want to appear sexy and mysterious, you wear Black.

Now, I'm not saying I was trying to appear sexy and mysterious in high school. I think the jeans and a t-shirt trump the sexy, and there's nothing mysterious about sneakers. However, take this one step further.

If person A likes Sapphire blue as a color, they might have several pieces of clothing in that color. To them, it might mean power, sophistication, and success. Person B might dislike Sapphire blue, because to them, all it is is a color their mother-in-law liked, or their step mother, or that annoying Aunt Bertha who pinched their cheeks as a kid. Sapphire Blue to person B might not mean power, sophistication or success, but rather annoyance. So color isn't just expressive, but it's personal.

So, what does black mean to me? And for that matter, Purple? Or any color?
Black, back when black was my 'go to' color, meant something specific to me. It was unknown. It was shadow. It was hidden. Now, yes, this is going to sound emo.. but remember, I sadly predate emo so you can't really use that against me. Let's go back to that book on Color. I seem to remember it saying something about teenagers wearing black, because black is a void color. It's the absence of light, of color. It's a blank slate. So when Teens are trying to find out who they are, as all teens do, they tend to reject everything, and then slowly bring things back in.
What?
Okay. Think of it like this. When you're a teen, you start realizing your parents aren't Gods. They're people. You begin to break away from the conformist, do anything the parents tell you to do, or because your parents do it. You start asking the questions, do I like this because I'm expected to, or because I really do?
Do I hate peas because my parents hate them and refuse to try them or serve them, and I'm just going with the flow, or do I really hate peas?
Am I a Republican simply because my parents are, or is that really where my political views lie?
Do I recycle because my parents are hippies, or do I do it because I believe in it?

You start breaking the mold and discovering yourself. And the book said, that's about the point you reject color from the wardrobe, to reflect the blank slate, and as you discover yourself, you start bringing colors back in to reflect who you see yourself as.

So, I remember reading that and thinking, that makes perfect sense to me. After all, when I wore black, it was back when I was trying to figure out who I was. What I stood for. Who I wanted to be. What I believed. And the answers weren't easy. I had a lot of hard questions. It took me a few good years to start accepting color back in. Black to me, didn't mean the same thing it meant to my mother. Not that she'd ever understand that.

My mother sees black as a funeral color. Outside of funerals, she sees it as a color worn by devil worshipers and criminals, gang members and all other manner of unsavory people. But she never asked me what it meant to me. No one did. Not even me. But looking back I can understand. It was a way to hide, when I didn't want to be seen. It was a defense when I didn't want other people getting too close. I was trying to define myself on my terms, not on other people's terms. I didn't want to define myself by my family or friends. Just me. I rejected all preconceived notions and ideas, all of who I had been, to try and figure out who I was. Black was my blanket, my canvas, and my shield. It reflected my loss of self, and my dark journey to find the new me.

Eventually I did come out of the void, and started bringing color back into my closet. Purple mostly. Purple is a royal color. I wasn't trying to say I was a queen or princess or anything like that. But I did believe I should hold my head up. I had finished my journey, found myself. I'd come out on top. I should be proud. And I should approach life from a 'Noblesse oblige' standpoint. That I should conduct myself nobly, even if I wasn't noble. Because it was part of who I wanted to be.

Today, my wardrobe is vast and varied. I find lately I'm drawn to the earthy tones, as well as a certain shade of pink. I'm not sure what it means, as I'll have to figure out what the colors mean to me. But in reflecting on this, I realize that I have lost sight of who I was, and who I was supposed to be. That's not exactly a bad thing, as people change, as well as the paths we take. But I'm left wondering, who am I? Really?

Who am I now?

I have no answer yet. Perhaps I should dig out some black clothing and spend a few days reflecting on the void, to see what transpires. Sadly, the only thought running though my head at the idea isn't 'man, it's going to be great to connect and discover again', but rather 'man, I'm really old to be dressing like a goth'.

Then again, Halloween is coming up...

Memories, All Alone in the Moonlight

So, lately I've been thinking, and mostly about the past. Not completely sure why. There's two lines of thought on the past. One is the, "Man I remember when...." line of thinking. The other is simply remembering things from the past.

Man, I remember when Blogging was called 'writing in a diary'. I actually had a few. I think I still have some. One I took with me when I went to camp back when I was in 6th grade, and tried to write something each day. I kept one in High school, because I didn't have siblings to talk to about the stuff I was dealing with. Now, people just Blog. Some people blog like a diary, others use their blogs to share information on a topic. I'm sure you've figured out my blog it the first kind. Little more than a diary. I wish I knew enough about something to write a blog that informs on a topic, but I'm only knowledgeable with the stuff in my own head. That's of little use to anyone other than me.

The idea of sharing diary type entries with whoever, would never have gone over well with me in high school. The things I wrote about I didn't want anyone seeing or reading. It was stuff I couldn't tell anyone. Not even friends. Mostly because it was about them. So I find it strange that kids today tend to blog rather than keep a diary. But I suppose it's more open and honest.

I also remember when McDonald's was a treat, not a staple of the American Diet. This goes for most fast food and even higher class take out places, and your standard restaurant. Sure, we're busier today than our parents were. We have less time for the things that matter, like cooking a meal and spending time with family. But I still remember when my Grandfather took us out to Furr's for Easter. It was a treat. Pizza Hut was a once every four to six months kind of thing, and my mother made homemade pizza the rest of the time. I still miss her pizza. Can't make it to save my life, but it was good.

I did some research on depression era cooking once, and came up with some really good recipes. Of course, some things they had back then I wouldn't eat today. Lard sandwiches. Then again, maybe we just replaced that with fast food. Who knows? I can't imagine a triple grease burger with cheese is any less damaging than a sandwich made of lard. Especially when the wrapper drips with grease when you unwrap it. I do imagine it tastes a damn sight better, but as I'm not going to try a lard sandwich, I'll just stick with my imagination on this one.


Of course, I've been thinking a lot about the past as well. Like when I was little, in Oklahoma. I suppose it's because the Bug is here, and I keep thinking of all the things my folks did with me. I know she's not my kid, but at the same time, I'd like to give her some good memories of when she was here. You might think kids can't remember what goes on when they're 18 months, but I can remember some things about that far back. I know, because I can remember the house my dad's parents had, with large French doors. They moved from that house when I was about two, into the house my Grandfather owned until he died. And I remember my Grandmother in that second house as well, and she died when I was three. So yes, kids can remember.

I know we used to go to the zoo a lot, and the duck pond to feed the ducks. Sadly, that duck pond no longer exists, thank you highways and progress. Even if it did, it would be in the wrong state. So, I have to find some place around here like that. I know the zoo is close, but it's so expensive to go right now. We'd have to wait until Dig starts his job at least. So then I'm left with parks. There's a park nearby, with toddler friendly swings and stuff. I'd like to take Muriel and the Bug out and let her play there for a while. I think she'd like it.I remember playing at a park a few blocks from our house, back when it was still relatively safe for kids of about 7 or 8 to go to the park with a small group of friends, rather than an armed detail of bodyguards.

I also want to get a kiddie pool, so she can play in the back yard. Probably not for this year, as money is tight and by the time it isn't, summer will be over. But for next summer. Given how she likes baths, I think she'd like the pool. I have tons of pictures of me as a kid in those pools. They rarely survived more than one summer, but the whole neighborhood seemed to gather in the front yard in their bathing suits and go for a dip or two. I remember the slip 'n' slide. I don't know if they still make those. They seem too dangerous for today's over-protective crowd.

Winter is coming up and I'm hoping we have some snow and then a warm day, so we can take her out to play in the snow for a little bit. Maybe find a sled and pull her along, like I used to do with my cousin and some of the neighborhood kids. Of course, Oklahoma had more ice than snow, so we did a lot of sliding without meaning to. Snowmen were hard to make.

But before Winter, comes Halloween, and though she's still too young to understand it, she should go trick or treating around the neighborhood. Even though she can't eat any of the candy, it should be fun for her. I think when people don't do something with a kid because they are 'too young to understand' they cheat them out of the experience. Besides, I've lived here for 3 years. I should really get out and see some neighbors.


But it's not just childhood memories I keep thinking about. High school too. And those, I can't blame on the Bug. There's a lot of things I might have done differently if I knew then what I know now. I find I sometimes miss the halls of the school, the freedom I had back then and didn't realize, the sounds of other kids around me, and the interactions with people my age. Even college didn't measure up to that. There was just something about high school that you don't find anywhere else. But then again, looking back I seem to remember how much I hated it when I was there. I wanted to be somewhere else. If only I'd known then how I'd miss it now, I might have enjoyed it more. Or not. I was kinda stubborn back then. But things I thought were the end of the world then, I know now were just raindrops.

Oh, and don't get me wrong. College was fun too. I miss the coffee shop on Tuesday nights when we'd gather and read poetry. It was a lot of fun, and I made some interesting, if short-lived, friendships.If I could go back then, I might had taken more time to explore classes, and been a little more expressive in my clothing and poetry. I might have followed through with my desire to write. Not sure.

Music makes me think back, all the time. If I'd discovered some of the bands I listen to now, back in high school, think of all the hours of musical enjoyment I could have had, that I missed out on. If I'd have discovered Gaming, both table-top and online, before I was 21, think of all the geeky fun I could have had. I missed a lot of buses back then, living in my little domed world. I wonder where I might be now, if I'd explored just a little more back then?

But, sadly, now it's all just moonlight on the water. I cannot go back, unless someone invents some kind of time reversal device (because a time machine would do me no good unless I can revert to being 14 again). So, you young kids, get with it. Invent that time reversal device so us old folks can go back and re-live our youth the way you are now. Hop to it. Snap, Snap.

Learning About Kids

So, today Muriel and Dig have headed back to Kansas to get the rest of their stuff out of storage. They left at 4am. I have the Bug (their daughter) today and tomorrow by myself. Muriel has been training me to watch her, since I'm going to basically act as a nanny for her.I've been learning to make her food, feed her, change her, and when she gets bottles and meals, and naps. So far, I think I've done okay. Today is my first time watching her on my own. I'm sure Muriel is as nervous as I am. This is going to be interesting.

She gets up at 7am.

Do you know how long it's been since I've seen 7am? A while. I think I was in college. But this morning I actually was up at 3am. I couldn't get back to sleep. It's going to be a long day. But morning went good so far. I've given her a bottle, and changed the diaper. In a few hours, I get to feed her breakfast, bottle her and lay her down for a nap. Maybe take one myself.

I've been playing things for her on Netflix. They had a counting program for toddlers. One to Ten, over and over and over. She loved it. Now she's watching Caillou. I prefer Caillou to the other show. She doesn't seem to care, so long as there's noise. She's teaching me all kinds of things. Patience is one of them. I wasn't certain if I wanted kids. I'm still not certain. However, she's adorable. She smiles at me when I make funny noises. We played peek-a-boo for ten minutes.

This is one of those times when I can't imagine being my mother. I mean, she read to me constantly. She played with me. She held down a job. I seriously don't think I could keep up with the Bug on a daily basis -and- hold down a job. I'm not sure I can survive kids' shows. And the way she hands you a book to read, and two pages in, takes it away and goes on to something else. It takes some adjusting.

She really is adorable. She doesn't completely understand not everything is hers, or that if you leave the room you're coming back. She gets frustrated, and cries until you come back, or until she gets distracted away from the thing she can't have. Thankfully I have a secret weapon. It's called "Look.. Kitty!" Works almost every time. Added bonus, he really does like her. He sticks fairly close to where she is, and watches over her. Right now he's sleeping on a chair near her play pen. One eye open and watching her.

 I'm sure I'll keep learning as she grows, while she's here. And maybe some day I'll want one of my own. I still don't know though.

Friends Online

You hear a lot about how the internet is making the world smaller, yet we don't know our own neighbors. How internet games destroy marriages and ruin lives. How it's this vice, etc, etc, etc.

But I used to play one online game four or more hours a day. Being stuck at home, it was my window into the world. I met lots of nice people, including a married couple who played this game, just like my hubby and I. I'll call them by their character names, since that's how I met them. Muriel and Dig were living in Oklahoma, which is where I was born. Muriel was pregnant at the time and home on bed rest. So the game was her window into the world as well. We were in the same guild, and struck up a friendship.

When her daughter was born, we started talking on the phone. I learned a lot about infants just by listening to her over the phone, and asking questions. We talked about a lot of other things as well, and the friendship only grew.

When her daughter was almost a year old, Muriel and Dig planned on moving out to Kansas with one of her high school friends. They were going to split rent, and household chores, and she was supposed to get help with her daughter, so she could have some free time, possibly a job as well. I was excited for her, and we continued to talk after the move. It didn't take long to see that the grass wasn't greener on the other side of the fence. I listened to her frustrations as Dig and her both looked for jobs, finding nothing, and desperately trying to keep up with bills and feed their daughter. I was just as nervous as she was every month, fearing things would end badly. Of course, my hubby heard all this second hand from me as the days turned to weeks, and months.

5 months after they moved to Kansas, we were talking about them moving in with us. Now, we bought a house, and are still paying on it. It's 2400 sq ft. Three bedrooms. I had one as a sewing room which was never used, and one as a guest room which was used twice. So I could see turning one into their room and one for the baby. We'd share a bathroom or two (given one has a tub and the other just a shower). And since I am home anyway, I could help take care of the baby, now 16 months, and she could get a job.

We knew it wasn't going to be easy. Realize, while we've talked for 2 years, we've never met. There's a lot of trust bringing strangers into your house. Especially with a toddler. But we talked it over, and kept everything realistic. Both my hubby and I knew the job market sucks right now, and it might take a while to get them both jobs. But as July hit, it was clear they would not be able to make rent, and would end up on the street if something didn't happen.

End of July, we drove to Kansas and packed out van with their stuff. They followed with their car, a UHaul and Dig's parents' truck.


Now, it's been a little less than a month, and we're still adjusting. The cat seems to have bonded to the baby, and Muriel and I are still friends. I think my hubby is the only one still not certain about all this. But, things are working out well. Dig got a job already, though it starts the end of September. Muriel is still looking, but she -can- look, which is something she hasn't been able to do with the baby, until now. I'm learning to be a nanny. And when it's all said and done, I think we're all happier. Dig is working on the back yard, and Muriel is a fantastic cook, so I'm actually eating better than I have in a long time.

So, now you know. An online game changed my life, and my hubby's. And probably Muriel and Dig's, and their daughter's. Sometimes, it's all in how you play the game. What your priorities are. If you're only out for yourself, that's about all you're going to get out of it. If you play a game to make friends, you might just find some.

New Beginnings

I tend not to handle these things well. Blogs that is. I forget they exist and go about my daily life and months later, remember I was trying to keep one. But hopefully, this time is the charm. There are a lot of changes happening in my life, and I suppose I am hoping blogging about them, or my random thoughts, will help me process these changes better. If it entertains or helps someone else, more the better. I have no illusions that anyone will actually read this. I'd have to remember I have it to tell people about, wouldn't I?

But this time, I will try to write, because writing, as I have learned, is one way for me to process, deal, cope, survive, and avoid losing what little sanity I have left. It's a daily struggle, and one I often feel I am losing, what with the changes in the world, not just my life. Every time I think "I sound just like my mother" I feel that slip just a bit more. After all, I remember very clearly once stating I would never be just like her. Not that it would be a bad thing. My mother is a wonderful person. I just don't know how she did everything she did. I can't imagine keeping up with her.

But time marches on. My hair turns more and more gray. I have yet to find a wrinkle, but I'm certain they are waiting for just the right moment to appear and shake up my world. I am constantly reminded I am not as young as I once was. Late nights used to be 4 or 5 am. Now it's more like midnight if I'm lucky. Glasses are no longer a fashion statement, but a requirement. Let's not talk of my waistline, which like my teenage years has vanished into the pages of history. More is the pity I'm no longer a size 12. After all, the older I get the cuter the clothes for younger women.

But these are things I hope to talk about in depth as I go. I should leave topics for when I decide to write about them. Which will be in spurts and fits, three or four at a time, with lag between. Such is life.

If you do stumble across this, and happen to enjoy it, even if it is only to laugh, let me know. I find it interesting.

Bright Blessings-