I know it has been a long time since I wrote anything. There has been a lot going on. I will try to back log some of the posts to bring things up to date, but let me just say, my life has been unsettled and nothing feels sane anymore.
I went ahead and updated my 101 list. Rather than figuring out how to post it here, I will just provide a link. I am at 51% with 410 days left to go. Somehow, this feels behind.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Working
So, I just submitted my time-card for this week. I managed 41 hours and 45 mins.
I am excited to be working again, and earning my own paycheck. I am happy to be bringing in money so that I can help pay the bills, and have some for myself. I had forgotten how good it feels to work.
I am excited to be working again, and earning my own paycheck. I am happy to be bringing in money so that I can help pay the bills, and have some for myself. I had forgotten how good it feels to work.
Friday, August 12, 2011
I will be working again!
I got the call this week that the temp agency I put in with is sending me to a job. It is for 2 weeks, doing data entry. I am so excited I can barely sleep. I will be working again, and earning some money!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
I had fun...
Mur and Dig kidnapped me last night and we went to a carnival here in Denver. I've only been to state fairs, that I know of. So while it was similar, it was a little different.
We walked around, looked at the rides, and decided what we wanted to go on. Then they talked me into the fun house.
It was okay... I mean, moving floors and spinning sections, it was different. Then Dig got me on one of those spinning sections and spun me around until I was dizzy. then I had to go down stairs. Any one else see the problem with this?
Down I go... trying hard not to fall over, and then we have to go through this spinning tube. I didn't even make it halfway out before I was stumbling and trying not to fall. I didn't know which way was up and so the next thing I know I'm crawling sideways, and down I go. Flop. The thing kept spinning so out I rolled, laughing my ass off as Mur and Dig tried not to fall over laughing at me as well. Thud. I was out.
As if this wasn't enough, they talked me into one of the swing rides. I am not good with heights. I have a fear of them. I also have issues with my weight, so all I can think is, the chain is going to break and I'm going to go flying to my death.
It was fun however. A little creepy, but fun. So then they think they can talk me onto a hang-glider ride. Which they did. It was a little more fun for me because the three of us were strapped into the thing, so if I died, at least they were going with me.
After this, we spent a ton of time playing Clown Town. One of those games where you drop tokens to move tokens and prizes to a drop off. I won a bunch of things. It was fun. Then we had funnel cakes.
This is where it gets interesting. We're all in dark clothing. Mur and I in black shirts. And funnel cakes, if you don't know, come coated in powdered sugar. Which is white. Did I mention we're in BLACK? so the wind picks up and well, now we're in black and white shirts. And eventually, Mur and I get into a funnel cake war. It ended with her coming after me with a plate of powdered sugar. She was aiming to toss it at me, but when she got close enough, I kicked the plate up out of her hand in into her face.
Let's just say we couldn't breathe for a while from laughing so hard. And she had powdered sugar in her bra.
All in all, it was a good night. I had a lot of fun.
We walked around, looked at the rides, and decided what we wanted to go on. Then they talked me into the fun house.
It was okay... I mean, moving floors and spinning sections, it was different. Then Dig got me on one of those spinning sections and spun me around until I was dizzy. then I had to go down stairs. Any one else see the problem with this?
Down I go... trying hard not to fall over, and then we have to go through this spinning tube. I didn't even make it halfway out before I was stumbling and trying not to fall. I didn't know which way was up and so the next thing I know I'm crawling sideways, and down I go. Flop. The thing kept spinning so out I rolled, laughing my ass off as Mur and Dig tried not to fall over laughing at me as well. Thud. I was out.
As if this wasn't enough, they talked me into one of the swing rides. I am not good with heights. I have a fear of them. I also have issues with my weight, so all I can think is, the chain is going to break and I'm going to go flying to my death.
It was fun however. A little creepy, but fun. So then they think they can talk me onto a hang-glider ride. Which they did. It was a little more fun for me because the three of us were strapped into the thing, so if I died, at least they were going with me.
After this, we spent a ton of time playing Clown Town. One of those games where you drop tokens to move tokens and prizes to a drop off. I won a bunch of things. It was fun. Then we had funnel cakes.
This is where it gets interesting. We're all in dark clothing. Mur and I in black shirts. And funnel cakes, if you don't know, come coated in powdered sugar. Which is white. Did I mention we're in BLACK? so the wind picks up and well, now we're in black and white shirts. And eventually, Mur and I get into a funnel cake war. It ended with her coming after me with a plate of powdered sugar. She was aiming to toss it at me, but when she got close enough, I kicked the plate up out of her hand in into her face.
Let's just say we couldn't breathe for a while from laughing so hard. And she had powdered sugar in her bra.
All in all, it was a good night. I had a lot of fun.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Time to fly....Time to change....
Thursday night I stepped onto a bus, leaving Denver and headed toward Iowa City. Why Iowa City? I was going out to visit a friend. Someone I trust and respect, someone who has become a rock for me in my stormy waters of life. Someone who I could count on to help me find myself again when I needed it the most.
There was fear, yes. I'd never met him face to face. I'd only spoken with him over the net, and phone. I'd also never traveled so far on a bus before, and this was only my second trip on a bus ever. I'd never gone out of state by myself. This was completely new and frightening. However, this was something I had to do, for myself, in so many ways.
They bus trip out of Denver to Omaha was horrible. The bus was packed. I was squished in. We were also 45 minutes late leaving Denver, and my transfer bus in Omaha was due to leave only 15 minutes after our 'on time' arrival time. Meaning I was afraid I'd miss it by half an hour. So the whole trip there, I was scared of missing the connection, and having to wait 24 hours for the next bus, and then not having a hotel room because I'd missed check in.
Thankfully, we hit Omaha only 12 minutes behind, and they'd held the connecting buses for us. I boarded, safe in the knowledge that I was not going to be very late getting into Iowa City. I almost was able to sleep. It also helped that the second bus was nearly empty. I had the set to myself and could stretch out.
Arriving in Iowa Friday morning, I met my friend. It was one of those times I will not forget. Stepping off a bus somewhere I didn't know, not knowing anything there, an looking around trying to see him. Then suddenly, there he was. The emotional roller-coaster was enough to make me dizzy. Hugging him for the first time felt strange. Familiar like we had been friends for years, and only hadn't seen each other for a few weeks.
The trip in Iowa, I will not bore you with. There was a lot of talking, a lot of crying, and a lot of playing video games. It was a time when I could let go of the stress from home, and find myself again. That person I used to be, inside, who had been shoved into a corner because I didn't have time for me anymore. Because I was afraid to be me. I was able to talk about issues in my life, and vent to him. I was able to talk things over and work out some problems. He helped me find me again. It was very good.
Boarding the bus Monday evening, I realized I didn't want to go home. I was afraid going home meant I would shove myself back in a corner, forget who I am, and things would return to how they were. I also will admit, I didn't want to leave him. He's a good friend, someone I enjoy hanging out with. Someone who makes me smile. Leaving him behind hurt. Maybe more than it should.
In any case, I was back on a bus, headed to Omaha. No delays. We arrived, switched buses and i was once again shoved into a sardine can. I detest the ride from Omaha to Denver. There's no room, no empty seats, and I was cramped again. That an the guy next to me decided to fall asleep and sprawl out into my side of the seat as well. Seriously?
Arriving back in Denver, I made a choice. I refuse to hide myself again, if I can help it. I do not want things to go back to the miserable state they were where I was a doormat and ignoring my feelings and everything because that is what people wanted. I do not want the time spent in Iowa City, or the effort of my friend, to have been for nothing.
It is time to spread my wings.
It is time to fly again.
It is time things change.
There was fear, yes. I'd never met him face to face. I'd only spoken with him over the net, and phone. I'd also never traveled so far on a bus before, and this was only my second trip on a bus ever. I'd never gone out of state by myself. This was completely new and frightening. However, this was something I had to do, for myself, in so many ways.
They bus trip out of Denver to Omaha was horrible. The bus was packed. I was squished in. We were also 45 minutes late leaving Denver, and my transfer bus in Omaha was due to leave only 15 minutes after our 'on time' arrival time. Meaning I was afraid I'd miss it by half an hour. So the whole trip there, I was scared of missing the connection, and having to wait 24 hours for the next bus, and then not having a hotel room because I'd missed check in.
Thankfully, we hit Omaha only 12 minutes behind, and they'd held the connecting buses for us. I boarded, safe in the knowledge that I was not going to be very late getting into Iowa City. I almost was able to sleep. It also helped that the second bus was nearly empty. I had the set to myself and could stretch out.
Arriving in Iowa Friday morning, I met my friend. It was one of those times I will not forget. Stepping off a bus somewhere I didn't know, not knowing anything there, an looking around trying to see him. Then suddenly, there he was. The emotional roller-coaster was enough to make me dizzy. Hugging him for the first time felt strange. Familiar like we had been friends for years, and only hadn't seen each other for a few weeks.
The trip in Iowa, I will not bore you with. There was a lot of talking, a lot of crying, and a lot of playing video games. It was a time when I could let go of the stress from home, and find myself again. That person I used to be, inside, who had been shoved into a corner because I didn't have time for me anymore. Because I was afraid to be me. I was able to talk about issues in my life, and vent to him. I was able to talk things over and work out some problems. He helped me find me again. It was very good.
Boarding the bus Monday evening, I realized I didn't want to go home. I was afraid going home meant I would shove myself back in a corner, forget who I am, and things would return to how they were. I also will admit, I didn't want to leave him. He's a good friend, someone I enjoy hanging out with. Someone who makes me smile. Leaving him behind hurt. Maybe more than it should.
In any case, I was back on a bus, headed to Omaha. No delays. We arrived, switched buses and i was once again shoved into a sardine can. I detest the ride from Omaha to Denver. There's no room, no empty seats, and I was cramped again. That an the guy next to me decided to fall asleep and sprawl out into my side of the seat as well. Seriously?
Arriving back in Denver, I made a choice. I refuse to hide myself again, if I can help it. I do not want things to go back to the miserable state they were where I was a doormat and ignoring my feelings and everything because that is what people wanted. I do not want the time spent in Iowa City, or the effort of my friend, to have been for nothing.
It is time to spread my wings.
It is time to fly again.
It is time things change.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Bent Fork
Yet another food related entry. You would think I was eating constantly.
We'd tried to eat here once before, and they were closed, for a wake. Given they are apparently the only Bent Fork in Denver, that kind of sucked. So today we decided to return and try again.
The service is fantastic. Friendly staff, all smiles. The prices were a little more than I would have liked, but then they have things like calamari and Buffalo as well. So it's a little higher class joint than we're used to.
My issues with this place were that, while the selection was good, the food was a little... plain. I ordered sandwich, and while yes, I switched away from Pepper Jack cheese to a provolone, I don't think that covers the lack luster taste experience. Other than the bread, the insides tasted not far off from something I could microwave from the frozen food section of a Walmart. The veggies were limp and mushy. The chicken was dry and flavorless. The slaw was.. let's just say I didn't bring it home.
I am not certain I would go back. It is a little pricey for me to order something only to be disappointed again. This was nothing to write home about.
Also, I find it frustrating when you go to a place that serves children, with children's menus, and high chairs, and you find they have no changing station in the bathrooms. You have no idea how hard it is to change a toddler on a sink, or a floor, until you've tried it. And I have, since I usually help Mur with the Bug. Let's just say, they need a changing station. It mounts to the wall people, not like it's going to take up a ton of room.
Anyways, that's my issues.
We'd tried to eat here once before, and they were closed, for a wake. Given they are apparently the only Bent Fork in Denver, that kind of sucked. So today we decided to return and try again.
The service is fantastic. Friendly staff, all smiles. The prices were a little more than I would have liked, but then they have things like calamari and Buffalo as well. So it's a little higher class joint than we're used to.
My issues with this place were that, while the selection was good, the food was a little... plain. I ordered sandwich, and while yes, I switched away from Pepper Jack cheese to a provolone, I don't think that covers the lack luster taste experience. Other than the bread, the insides tasted not far off from something I could microwave from the frozen food section of a Walmart. The veggies were limp and mushy. The chicken was dry and flavorless. The slaw was.. let's just say I didn't bring it home.
I am not certain I would go back. It is a little pricey for me to order something only to be disappointed again. This was nothing to write home about.
Also, I find it frustrating when you go to a place that serves children, with children's menus, and high chairs, and you find they have no changing station in the bathrooms. You have no idea how hard it is to change a toddler on a sink, or a floor, until you've tried it. And I have, since I usually help Mur with the Bug. Let's just say, they need a changing station. It mounts to the wall people, not like it's going to take up a ton of room.
Anyways, that's my issues.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Depression
Today I took a step forward.
Today I spoke with the doctor about my Depression.
This was no easy task. I ended up in tears, and I dislike crying with people around. But I needed to do this. There are things going on in my life right now that dictate that I seek stronger help for these dark moods that knock on my door. I am only hoping that the path I now walk is not a long one before the sun shines again.
I know full well, depression meds do not work right away. They take time to get into your system. And not ever pill will work for every person. So I might have to go through a few different ones before I find one that helps.
Today I spoke with the doctor about my Depression.
This was no easy task. I ended up in tears, and I dislike crying with people around. But I needed to do this. There are things going on in my life right now that dictate that I seek stronger help for these dark moods that knock on my door. I am only hoping that the path I now walk is not a long one before the sun shines again.
I know full well, depression meds do not work right away. They take time to get into your system. And not ever pill will work for every person. So I might have to go through a few different ones before I find one that helps.
Damascus Grill 2
So, after trying the first one, we found out there was a second one. It's a buffet. Now, given what I knew of the first one, this second one sounded like a dream. This second one is in Englewood.
Dear friends, do not bother. Please. Go to the one in Littleton.
The service sucked. The selection of food sucked. The quality of the food sucked. The taste of the food sucked. The prices sucked.
In all, No. Not again, not if you paid me. I will be returning to the one in Littleton and forgetting that this place in Englewood is there at all.
Dear friends, do not bother. Please. Go to the one in Littleton.
The service sucked. The selection of food sucked. The quality of the food sucked. The taste of the food sucked. The prices sucked.
In all, No. Not again, not if you paid me. I will be returning to the one in Littleton and forgetting that this place in Englewood is there at all.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Damascus Grill
Mur and Dig know I love Greek food. Something about it just tastes so good to me. So they stumbled across this little place once, and loved it, and when they went back a second time they came back with a menu. I had to go.
Damascus Grill is this little place in Littleton, CO. It's actually not Greek, but some of the dishes will be familiar. It's this tiny place that you might miss if you weren't looking for it. (I used to shop at a store across the street and never knew it was there). You walk in, and the decor is charming. Not overpowering and not half-hearted. We were seated, and the service was wonderful. The guy answered all the questions we had, and we actually just ordered a bunch of appetizers, and shared them. The Baba Ghanouj was my favorite. And I was really glad to see a large amount of vegetarian options on the menu, since I know a lot of vegetarians. Usually it's salad and maybe one other thing, but they had three platters with 7 things on each platter as dinner options, and most of those were also appetizers.
Everything is cooked fresh. The quail came out still bubbling. The drinks were fresh. Dig got this fresh fruit smoothie, and honestly, it looked wonderful. My 'iced' mint tea was still warm in spots, telling me they had brewed it and then iced it. I think only the desserts are made ahead and well, that's understandable, especially with Baklava.
The selection of food is wonderful. I had a hard time picking a few things to try, because there was so much there. The prices were good too, but then, we ordered appetizers. Still, about $6 for an appetizer on average, and dinners look to be about $15 a plate (or $12 for the vegetarian ones). Still, we fed 3 people on appetizers and we all walked away full.
I will be going back to this place, probably the next time I need a 'Greek' food fix. It was really good.
Damascus Grill is this little place in Littleton, CO. It's actually not Greek, but some of the dishes will be familiar. It's this tiny place that you might miss if you weren't looking for it. (I used to shop at a store across the street and never knew it was there). You walk in, and the decor is charming. Not overpowering and not half-hearted. We were seated, and the service was wonderful. The guy answered all the questions we had, and we actually just ordered a bunch of appetizers, and shared them. The Baba Ghanouj was my favorite. And I was really glad to see a large amount of vegetarian options on the menu, since I know a lot of vegetarians. Usually it's salad and maybe one other thing, but they had three platters with 7 things on each platter as dinner options, and most of those were also appetizers.
Everything is cooked fresh. The quail came out still bubbling. The drinks were fresh. Dig got this fresh fruit smoothie, and honestly, it looked wonderful. My 'iced' mint tea was still warm in spots, telling me they had brewed it and then iced it. I think only the desserts are made ahead and well, that's understandable, especially with Baklava.
The selection of food is wonderful. I had a hard time picking a few things to try, because there was so much there. The prices were good too, but then, we ordered appetizers. Still, about $6 for an appetizer on average, and dinners look to be about $15 a plate (or $12 for the vegetarian ones). Still, we fed 3 people on appetizers and we all walked away full.
I will be going back to this place, probably the next time I need a 'Greek' food fix. It was really good.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Goodbye to you
I am deleting your messages from my phone
If I have to walk this path, it's better I walk alone
Please don't answer or try to call
I should never have loved you at all.
Forgive me for leaving when I said I would not
Forgive me for being weak more times than not
If I have to walk this path, it's better I walk alone
Please don't answer or try to call
I should never have loved you at all.
Forgive me for leaving when I said I would not
Forgive me for being weak more times than not
Friday, April 8, 2011
~*~ Release Me ~*~
Standing here in this place
The sun is sinking low
I turn, but cannot see your face
Still it is you, I know
Your words are lost upon the wind
I cannot hear your voice
My heart feels as if it has sinned
As I have to make a choice
My eyes lift to look at you
My hands curl to plead
If my dilemma you knew
Would it mean that I'd be freed?
Release me
I beg of you
Cut the chains that bind
Release me
Set me free
I cannot live confined
Release me from this jail
Set me free from these chains
Cut me loose from this hell
While something of my soul remains
I'd prostate myself at your feet
If I knew you'd give your ear
My lips would admit defeat
If they only knew you'd hear
The sun sets further below the hills
I slide tearful to my knees
Desperation haunts my voice
I echo all my pleas
Release me
I beg of you
Only you can do this
Release me
Set me free
Turn torture into bliss
I can feel the chains around my heart
I can feel the cold that burns inside
Freedom only you can impart
I've struggled and I tried
Here within this darkening night
Cut me free from all these ties
Return me to the sunlight
My love for you was not lies
I cannot live in exiled misery
Without your warm embrace
I would sustain any injury
To once again see your face.
Release me
I beg of you
It's you I long for
Release me
Set me free
Or break my heart more.
The sun is sinking low
I turn, but cannot see your face
Still it is you, I know
Your words are lost upon the wind
I cannot hear your voice
My heart feels as if it has sinned
As I have to make a choice
My eyes lift to look at you
My hands curl to plead
If my dilemma you knew
Would it mean that I'd be freed?
Release me
I beg of you
Cut the chains that bind
Release me
Set me free
I cannot live confined
Release me from this jail
Set me free from these chains
Cut me loose from this hell
While something of my soul remains
I'd prostate myself at your feet
If I knew you'd give your ear
My lips would admit defeat
If they only knew you'd hear
The sun sets further below the hills
I slide tearful to my knees
Desperation haunts my voice
I echo all my pleas
Release me
I beg of you
Only you can do this
Release me
Set me free
Turn torture into bliss
I can feel the chains around my heart
I can feel the cold that burns inside
Freedom only you can impart
I've struggled and I tried
Here within this darkening night
Cut me free from all these ties
Return me to the sunlight
My love for you was not lies
I cannot live in exiled misery
Without your warm embrace
I would sustain any injury
To once again see your face.
Release me
I beg of you
It's you I long for
Release me
Set me free
Or break my heart more.
It has been a while.
I did issue a warning that I wasn't the best at keeping a blog. So yes, I've been silent for a while. I suppose that is to be expected. I will try to make up for it by posting a few posts. I might even go back and post them for days I missed, if I can remember when something happened.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Day Spa
So Tina and I were talking about a day spa trip for later in the month. She told me to find a decent one for about $50 each. I managed to find one for about $45. We decided to check it out, and went today.
It was wonderful. We did the dry sauna, hot tub, a body scrub, shampoo, massage, mud room. We had a ton of fun, and I came back more relaxed than ever. I want to go back. It was that good.
It was wonderful. We did the dry sauna, hot tub, a body scrub, shampoo, massage, mud room. We had a ton of fun, and I came back more relaxed than ever. I want to go back. It was that good.
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